It’s often said that there is always a bad head in a group of people or a family, and this is true. But the lousy head might be different from what you think.
What about bad heads who happen to be your group members in school? How do you deal with them?
Do they have some habits that bother you or that might affect your learning?
What about a wrong group member who is a friend?
Do they disturb you when you’re doing an activity with your group members?
Do they never help you finish a specific task required by the teacher for group work?
Are they just terrible company because their personalities are not likable at all? Or maybe they are very mean to each other, and this is starting to make you feel uncomfortable.
Whatsoever kind of bad heads, there are among the people around us, we need to know how to deal with them, especially if these are our group members.
Here are some tips on how to deal with bad group members:
1. Speak up if the group member is disrupting the workflow or making you uncomfortable:
Most groups try to work together productively to finish all the requirements and for every group member to get a particular mark because of their effort.
However, some group members have bad habits that might disturb your learning and your entire class’s workflow.
So if you can’t handle this problem on your own anymore, it is best to talk with the teacher about what is happening so they can help you solve this problem once and for all.
If talking with the teacher won’t do anything well, then maybe going directly to the group member and having a frank discussion regarding this issue would do just fine because teachers can’t do something about a group member that is also their student.
Many teachers think that students need to solve their problems, and it is true. Teachers can’t just interfere in every problem you have with your classmate; they will only help if severe or violent bullying occurs between you and the wrong head in the group.
2. Be an example:
The most important thing you need to remember when dealing with a nasty head, especially if this person happens to be your friend outside school, is to show them how good and mature people behave to learn from you what it means to be civilized. This might sound hard, but all you have to do is set an example for them – because discourse without action won’t help transform lousy behavior.
Sometimes they might not be aware that they are bothering people, but if you explain to them their mistake, they may know how to do something about it next time.
3. Be the Group leader:
A nasty head in the group might not have good social skills, so they cannot understand what it means to be part of a team. Sometimes they are timid and introverted, but they don’t know how to fix this problem independently.
If you can, be the leader of your group. You will have more power over the things happening inside your group, and you can also control them according to what you think is best for your whole group.
You don’t need to boss around or treat them like slaves – find a happy medium between giving suggestions and telling suggestions because sometimes giving suggestions won’t work even if you try different ways of phrasing them.
Just think of what you can do to become the leader in your group. And remember, the best way to deal with lousy group members is by calling them out on their mistakes and by helping them solve these mistakes without having any bias towards them because they are friends outside school or because you feel like they deserve it – if they make a mistake, treat them like anybody else would be treated in the same situation!
4. Keep an open line of communication:
We all know that keeping an open mind is good because you don’t want to miss out on opportunities just because you’re too stubborn to admit that somebody might have a better idea than you do.
So encourage yourself – ask people’s opinions even if you are sure that your opinion is better.
You might be surprised by how much they know about the problem you are currently facing, so it’s best to listen to them and take note of their suggestions because who knows? You might have overlooked some good ideas that could improve your group work.
5. Get a healthy balance:
You need to learn how to say no once in a while. This is an excellent skill because you can choose what kind of people you want to be seen with and who you want to hang out with – don’t feel bad about it, find some lovely people!
You must remain true to yourself when making decisions about the people you spend most of your time with because if not, then they will own you. And nobody wants that kind of life.
This doesn’t mean that after saying no once or twice, you need to drop them entirely from your group because this might make them think that everything they did was in vain even though it wasn’t.
You can still give them a chance but in a healthier setting than before when there were lots of bad vibes and emotions going on.
So don’t be afraid to say no; just set some healthy boundaries for yourself and remember that you’re doing it all for your good.
6. Politely and assertively ask them to stop talking or participating in the discussion:
This method is highly effective, especially if you are dealing with a group member whose character traits are challenging.
Some people are goody-two-shoes; they don’t show much attitude, and they tend not to be aggressive, so it’s hard for them to confront others about their mistakes.
There’s nothing wrong with being humble and friendly, but there is something wrong if you’re too lovely that this becomes your weakness because you can’t stand up for yourself when someone does something terrible to you or when someone is disturbing your learning process.
So what you can do to solve the problem right away is ask the person nicely and firmly to stop talking or participate in the group work once:
“I’m sorry to interrupt you but I’m trying to focus now so if you could stop that it would be really helpful.”
“I’m sorry, can you please stop? These are ways you can politely tell someone to stop doing something.
7. Work it out with the group:
If you’re directly asking the person to stop and this still won’t work, you should try working things out with the group first.
You could try having a meeting where you ask everyone’s opinion about how they think they could solve this problem as a team conversation. You might be surprised that some people find your group member annoying, so getting their agreement would help solve the problem faster. Rubbing heads together will help and come up with a solution as a group.
8. Avoid talking to the person:
If none of those methods work, try avoiding talking or even looking at the person. It would be frustrating because it’s like challenging yourself to be patient enough and deal with this kind of situation, but if you don’t want things to go out of hand and become worse than they already are, then it is best not to talk that person anymore. Maybe that will make them see how bad their attitude towards others is by showing no one wants to bother them anymore because they can’t even maintain a conversation.
9. Agree on ground rules:
If all of those methods fail, you can try talking to the person one more time but establish ground rules together this time around.
Of course, this would be hard because it requires understanding and maturity from both ends, but if you manage to do that, you’ll see results afterward. The problem is not always bad; sometimes, people just need to agree on some rules for everyone’s sake, including theirs. So talk about expectations and respect with them – make sure they understand what they did wrong and why no one liked their attitude towards others before telling them how they should behave.
10. If they continue to disrupt, talk to your professor or boss about the situation:
If none of the above worked, maybe it’s time to consult your professor or boss about the situation. They might think that this is nothing they need to be worried about, but if they know what bad behavior looks like, they will most likely understand where you are coming from.
So talk to them one-on-one and explain everything in detail; let them decide how they want things to go from there because you shouldn’t always try solving problems by yourself since it can be exhausting at times.
11. Get out:
If all else fails, don’t hesitate to simply leave or ask for new group members who will fit better with everyone else. Sometimes, being alone is better than being around people with whom no one wants anything to do.
12. Document any incidents that occur with this person, just in case you need evidence later on:
Documenting incidence can be very helpful, especially if you need to convince your professor or someone else about the situation. It’s a good idea to keep a log or journal of all the things that happen, the things this person does that everyone hates and why they are doing them.
For example, if this person constantly interrupts others while they are talking, you could jot down what time it happened, who was there at the moment, and what was said during that time. Even something as simple as ‘interrupted again’ would be better than nothing since you can describe who was saying what before being interrupted, so you can write it in your journal later on.
Ensure to maintain an accurate record of every incidence because, later on, everything is documented for you already when you need proof. So don’t forget about any important details either.
Documenting incident with group members helps prevent arguments, misunderstandings, and unnecessary questions about the situation.
13. Try to stay positive and focus on the task at hand:
If you can’t deal with the group member and don’t know what to do next, try not to let it affect your productivity and mood. Just focus on doing what needs to be done because sometimes these things come in unexpected ways, and we need to learn how to deal with them.
So instead of focusing on everything that is going wrong, try thinking about how you will tackle each problem as they come and, most importantly, stay positive! It’s easy for anyone’s mood to change drastically, but maintaining a happy environment will benefit everyone else, so don’t worry too much about other people who are having a hard time being around negative people.
Optimism is a very powerful thing so put it into good use by staying positive no matter what.
In conclusion,
Dealing with lousy group members can be tricky and challenging, but you can learn how to deal with them with enough patience and compassion. There is always a way out of this problem, so don’t let it get the best of you; just try solving everything as it comes, and most importantly, stay positive!
