To be oversensitive is readily upset or offended by something that isn’t a big deal. Someone who is oversensitive often feels as if everything people say about them is a criticism, even when intended to be positive. If you’re oversensitive, it’s difficult for other people to give you constructive criticism or advice because they know that just a word or two could be over the line.
Oversensitive is the opposite of thick-skinned. Someone who is thick-skinned can shrug off anything said about them, while someone who is oversensitive takes everything personally. People with thin skin are usually in between – they become offended by some things but not others. Of course, everyone has feelings, and nobody likes to be criticized, but if you are oversensitive, you take it too far.
People easily upset or offended by other people’s behaviour are often oversensitive. Telling a person with thin skin not to be sensitive or intolerant is one of the worst things you can do because such people think they have good reason to be upset, and they do not want their feelings to be invalidated.
Sometimes, however, an oversensitive person is just projecting their fears onto others. A student who seems to be oversensitive about making mistakes on tests may have very low self-esteem and feel like she’s dumb even before she opens her book. This kind of behaviour can quickly lead back into the land of oversensitivity.
An oversensitive person needs to learn how to put their feelings in perspective and realize that many things don’t matter as they think. A therapist may be needed if the problem becomes severe enough, but learning loved ones not to take everything said personally is an excellent first step.
Why am I so oversensitive?
People who are oversensitive worry that every little criticism or complaint is about them when this is often not the case. By learning to take things less personally, you will feel less at risk and be able to handle constructive feedback more efficiently. If you regularly get offended by comments made in passing, you’ll find it’s difficult for other people to help you.
The following reasons are why you’re oversensitive:
1. Low self-esteem
When you don’t like and respect yourself, you’re more likely to take everything said as a criticism. It’s hard to stay calm when faced with the seemingly straightforward “You can do it!” if you believe that you can’t. Others might think that your loved ones are trying to help you, but you think they mean the opposite because it seems like criticism.
2. Insecurity
Insecure people have trouble seeing themselves positively and so take any feedback as a sign that others see them negatively, even if this isn’t the case. They may feel that people don’t appreciate them or that a loved one will leave them, so they feel justified in getting upset or offended.
3. Low self-confidence
Someone who doesn’t believe in their abilities is more likely to see criticism where there is none. If you don’t think you can do it, you’ll always find a reason why something didn’t work out and jump to conclusions instead of asking for clarification.
4. Fear of failure
People afraid of failing will take criticism as confirmation that everyone knows they’re going to fail and feel like the whole world is ganging upon them. If people wanted you to fail, they would make sure not to help you out with anything. This shows that most of the time, criticism is meant constructively.
5. Fear of rejection
People afraid of being rejected may take everything said as a sign that the other person doesn’t want to be around them, even if it’s negative feedback on their behaviour or appearance. If you’re worried about someone close to you suddenly leaving you for no apparent reason, ask yourself why you don’t think they would tell you if they planned to leave.
6. Fear of success
When you’re afraid of succeeding, it’s hard to keep your head above water. You’ll take negative feedback as a sign that the other person thinks you shouldn’t be where you are or that there is more than one way of doing something. You may need to ask someone you trust what they meant by criticism.
7. Difficulty expressing emotions
When you’re unsure of how to express your feelings, it’s hard for others to know if your words are sincere or not. You might find it easier to play the victim or complain about things than take responsibility for your actions. This way of communicating can make people feel upset or fed up with you and even cause them to lash out at you without meaning to.
8. Being a perfectionist
People who are never satisfied with their performance take things the wrong way because they’re not happy with where they stand now and want everything done perfectly. You’ll find it hard to accept criticism without feeling upset or offended.
9. Difficulty accepting compliments
When you’re not sure of your abilities, it’s hard to accept a compliment without feeling like the other person is just saying that. When someone says, “You did a great job,” and you think they mean “, It wasn’t so bad,” you aren’t secure with yourself and don’t believe in your abilities. In this case, it’s best to ask for clarification because most people mean well when they compliment you.
10. Fear of others’ opinions
If you’re afraid of what others think about you and feel the need to be liked by everyone, it can be hard not to take things personally when someone says something negative about you or your actions. When you find yourself in a situation where someone criticizes your behaviour, remember that people’s opinions don’t define who you are. It’s ok not to please everyone at all times!
How to stop being so sensitive
Being sensitive and taking things too personally can make life difficult, but it’s never too late to change.
If you know that you’re more likely to be offended or get worked up than most people after hearing criticism, there are a few tips that might help:
- Understand that everyone has opinions and no one is right.
- When you find yourself being too emotional, take a step back and try to see things from the other person’s point of view.
- Avoid taking things personally when they don’t concern you directly.
- Don’t read into negative words or actions that aren’t meant as criticism. We all say and do things that we don’t mean when we’re upset.
- If you want to be able to accept criticism, learn what your weaknesses are and work on them bit by bit.
- Remember that everyone makes mistakes. It’s not a reflection of who you are as a person.
- Get rid of negative people in your life who make it hard for you to see the good things.
- Set realistic goals and work on developing your strengths. If you think you’re not good at something, try doing it anyway before you decide you’re no good at it.
- Learn to speak up when someone hurts your feelings or says something that offends you, and learn how to be assertive without being aggressive.
If you can’t stop taking things too personally, it might be worth talking with a trusted friend or family member about what’s going on in your life and what you can do to manage your feelings better.
If, on the other hand, negative thoughts and self-criticism are a problem for you, many positive things can help you stop being so hard on yourself.
- Start by identifying the negative thought processes that make it hard for you to accept criticism and compliments.
- Learn more about negative self-talk and how to stop it.
- Start a list of positive affirmations, and use them when you need some encouragement. Write down all your strengths, so they’re easier to remember, and work on believing in yourself.
- Stop comparing yourself to other people. Remember that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.
- Focus on the things you’re good at and not what you’re lacking. If something is hard for you, try to find someone who does it well so you can learn from them too.
- Remember that confidence starts with knowing your strengths. Everyone has talent, even if it’s not related to their academic or work life.
- Don’t be afraid to say no when you want to. It’s ok not to please everyone all the time, and it’s always better to speak up for yourself than let people walk all over you.
- Remember that there is no one right way of doing things and that different things work for different people.
- Remember that you have the right to feel offended, but it’s up to you to decide whether or not someone else’s opinion is worth taking personally.
- Stop beating yourself up over your mistakes. Everyone makes them – it’s part of being human. Forgive yourself and move on.
Remember that there are many ways to deal with criticism, and what works for other people might not work for you.
The important thing is to find a way of thinking that helps you learn from your mistakes without letting them discourage you too much.
Remember that it’s always possible to change if you want to!
People have the right to their opinions, but sometimes they are too harsh.
It’s also important to remember that you might not be the only one who thinks like this. You might find people close to you who agree with your critics, making it much harder for you to deal with the comments you’ve received.
They think they are helping, but sometimes they don’t understand how hurtful their words are.
The best thing to do is try talking with someone about it, so you can find a way to deal with the problem together.
If you feel like everyone’s trying to change how you act or dress, it might be worth talking with someone close to you about how they can support you better in your choices.
Remember that other people’s opinions about you don’t always reflect who you are. The important thing is to show the world how good your style is, instead of trying to please other people.
If things in your life make it hard for you to feel confident, it might be worth talking with someone close to you about what you can do to change them.
Remember that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses and that it’s ok for you to feel self-conscious about the things you’re not very good at yet.
Realize that if something is hard for you, it doesn’t mean that you’re bad at it. Everyone makes mistakes, and it’s normal not to be able to do everything straight away.
Remember that you have the right to feel offended, but it’s up to you whether or not someone else’s opinion is worth taking personally. Remember that everyone has different opinions and ways of thinking, and trying to please everyone all the time can make things very complicated (and frustrating).
The important thing is to find a way of thinking that helps you learn from your mistakes without letting them discourage you too much.
If people think they’re helping but don’t understand how hurtful their words can be, talk with someone about what you can do together to change the situation.
Remember that other people’s opinions about you don’t always reflect who you are. The important thing is to show the world how good your style is instead of trying to please everyone else.
Remember that there are many ways to deal with someone’s criticism, and what works for other people might not work for you.
In conclusion,
It’s essential to find a way of thinking that helps you learn from your mistakes without letting them discourage you too much and for everyone to resolve problems instead of trying to please everyone all the time. It’s also essential for people close to support their friends in making the choices they feel confident about.
Finally, remember that it’s always possible to change if you want to.
