The feeling of being defeated and discouraged is one we can all relate to.

When we think about it, we may even find that most of our usual thoughts and behavior patterns center around avoiding this nasty mood.

What’s worse than having a bad week or even a bad day? Watching your hopes and dreams crumble before your eyes! We’ve all been there… no fun whatsoever.

Here are some friendly tips to get you through the rough times:

You Can Do It!

This may seem like an obvious statement, but it is so true nonetheless… you indeed can do anything with the proper motivation!  Acknowledge feelings of defeat for what they are, and accept that they are there to help you somehow (even when you don’t yet see how).

You can equip yourself with a positive frame of mind by getting your feet off the ground and taking practical action.

Try to see this time as a chance to observe from a different perspective… What would make it easier? Where is God drawing your attention toward?  What desires have been reignited within since feeling defeated?

Turn It Around!

Even though it may not seem like it at first, there’s always something good that comes out of every bad situation.  Everything happens for a reason! When things get rough, put on your thinking cap and brainstorm what you could do that would turn the situation into a positive one.

You may want to list things that could get you closer to your goal and rate each item based on the difficulty level and how much it would help.  Even if there’s just one thing that you can do, then go for it!  Afterward, pat yourself on the back for taking action.

Let Go of What You Can’t Control… and Focus On What You Can!

One of the most important skills we can learn in life is to accept what we cannot change.   Although it may be difficult, not everything does deserve so much energy and attention…

It’s okay to let it sometimes go because we have no choice but to move on when circumstances are out of our hands.

Remember, the only thing we truly control is ourselves and how we react to things.  Therefore, when feeling defeated or discouraged, it would be wise to focus on what you can do, not what you cannot.

How to Get Over Defeat

It happens to us all

What do you think of when you hear ‘defeat’?

The first thing that came into your head wasn’t butterflies and rainbows! Most likely, it’s something like this…

So now what? You’ve just hit the lowest point in your life. How can you go on? What do you even want to do anymore? It feels impossible to go forward.[[Article content]]

This is how many people feel after they lose an election or lawsuit, fail a class, or even lose someone close to them through death or break up! It stings; it hurts both physically and emotionally too. The pain seems unbearable at times. I know because I’ve been there, and I sometimes get there!

I’ll tell you what helped me get over defeat. It’s something that’s helped me through all sorts of hurt and pain: writing! [[What to write]] You don’t have to be a writer by trade; we all keep diaries, journals, or even text messages of our lives somewhere if you can find where it will help you feel better.

This is when your feelings like anger and sadness need an outlet more than ever. Writing also helps me solve problems and gives me hope for the future. There are so many things about defeat that suck the life out of us emotionally and physically, but writing reminds us that we’re not alone in how we feel and can also show us other ways to look at defeat.

Seven Things to Do When Feeling Defeated and Overwhelmed

So you’ve just lost a friendly game of [sport] with your friends, and despite the loss, they’re acting friendly and jovial. You might feel angry or upset about not winning, but it happens to everyone once! Here are some tips on how to get over defeat when it happens:

1. Take a break

You may feel frustrated after losing a game, so don’t worry if you need a moment; giving yourself a few minutes could make all the difference. When you step away from an activity for a little bit, let your mind wander to other things before returning excited and refreshed. Your body mustn’t get too used to experiencing negative emotions because there is nothing that can dampen your mood quite like an upset body!

2. Congratulate the winner

Even if you did score more points than your friends, it’s essential to be friendly and respectful to the other players for them to have a good time. You should always congratulate someone who did better or won against you, so you don’t let yourself become bitter about losing the game. Letting this go is friendly and could also get you some brownie points with your friends because they will know that you are mature enough to handle defeat.

3. Try out something new

If there was one thing that contributed to your loss, then one way of getting over defeat is trying out different tactics. No one likes to lose, but it happens to everybody at some point! You should take this opportunity to try something different so that it doesn’t happen again.

4. Have fun!

Friendly games are just friendly games-they’re not life or death situations, so why would you need to be upset over them? The most important thing about friendly games is that you can have a good time with your friends and learn from your mistakes. Whatever happened in the past has already happened, so there’s no need for negative emotions because they serve nothing positive. Just relax and play with your friends for now!

5. Don’t dwell on it

Defeat is always brutal to swallow,  but sometimes you have to move on. Dwelling on the past will only make you more upset with yourself, so try not to do it unless necessary. You can use friendly games to challenge yourself and learn from your mistakes. That’s all they are-friendly games!

6. Identify What’s Going on Inside You

To understand where those feelings of defeat are coming from, you must first identify what is inside you. Perhaps it has something to do with a particular person or a situation in your life.

Is there someone who always steals your joy by being grumpy or criticizing others? Or maybe there’s a specific situation that continues to come up repeatedly, which always makes you feel like a victim.

Remember, life is nothing more than your point of view about what’s going on around you. Your feelings of defeat are nothing more than your interpretation of how things are for you right now. Life would be pretty dull if it were always the same thing every day! You interpret events based on your past experiences and apply them to today’s situations.

For example, maybe someone said something meant to you when you were younger, and that memory keeps coming up whenever someone says something slightly critical to you. Or maybe there was an event in your life where everything went wrong, which has caused you to doubt being able to get through any other difficult situation. These interpretations are often referred to as “frozen pictures” because the images often remain even though they’re not accurate anymore.

Once you identify what is going on inside of yourself, then you can begin to work with changing your point of view. Don’t let a frozen picture from your past paint how you see things today! Change that old tape in your head and create a new movie for yourself…starting today.

7. Change Your Point of View

This is an exercise where you turn those feelings around, so they don’t come up again in the future when faced with adversity. First, write down why this person made you feel defeated. Next, list all the reasons there is nothing to be upset about when faced with a difficult situation or person who wants to steal your joy.

When you can identify that there isn’t anything to be upset about, ask yourself, “What’s good about this?” or “How can I learn from this?” This is one of the most powerful exercises for overcoming feelings of defeat! It humanizes you and your situation to make it easier for you to embrace life.

Challenge Those Negative Thoughts And Emotions

Now comes the fun part! The next time you feel defeated, stop and take some deep breaths. Randomly jot down what those negative emotions are all about and then come up with a better way of looking at them.

You don’t have to keep thinking those thoughts any longer! Instead, challenge them by asking yourself questions like:

What would someone confident in themselves say?

How can I look at this situation in a way that benefits me?

 How is (the difficult person) just like me? We’re both human and want to be loved, appreciated, and respected.

 Remember: It’s Just Your Point of View

When you focus on your negative thoughts too long, it becomes easy for them to take control over the rest of your day. Once you start feeling defeated, it’s hard to stop! However, when you realize there isn’t anything so wrong with your life or situation, you will feel better about things. You can then focus on finding solutions instead of staying stuck where you are.

 Don’t Give Up On Yourself

This is probably the essential exercise in learning to get over defeat. You are your own worst critic who beats upon you for things that aren’t even wrong! Remember, there is nothing more powerful than you when setting goals and achieving them. Don’t give up on yourself when (that difficult person) tells you otherwise! Why would anyone want to keep giving power away by listening to someone with no knowledge of who you indeed are?

IN CONCLUSION

Overcoming feelings of defeat is a process that takes time and effort. If you stop challenging your emotions, they will come up more frequently in the future! That’s why it is so important to learn how to get over defeat and change your point of view. However, though overcoming defeat can be hard sometimes, it doesn’t mean that you should give up on yourself. The next time someone tells you that you’re not worthy or good enough, don’t believe them! You are enough, and you deserve happiness… as everyone else does.