Do you ever feel like everyone around you is a little bit crazy, and the only reason you’re able to remain sane is by trying to talk them down from their flights of fancy?
We all have people in our lives who think differently than us. We don’t always get along with these people or agree on everything. That’s life! But sometimes, we can take these differences a little too far and start to believe that the only way forward is by convincing them of our own opinions. This becomes a problem when we realize there is no results insight or that this method simply isn’t working.
At some point or another, we’ve all tried to convince someone of our point of view. Maybe you thought if only they shared your opinion, then everything would be okay. Or maybe you wanted them to agree with you because it meant that the two of you could build a future together on that common ground.
Whether or not this is true, here are 20 ways to stop trying to change other people’s opinions:
1. Separate your relationship from their opinions.
It’s perfectly fine to have different views with people you love, even if that view is on something as trivial as how many stars there are in the sky. If all you see are differences, then it’s hard to believe that these two versions of reality can exist simultaneously.
Dedicate some time to figuring out what your relationship means to you. If you don’t get along with someone, that is perfectly fine too! It simply means that you are incompatible somehow, not that they are wrong and you are right.
By considering why your opinions differ, you’ll be able to change the way you think about the relationship.
2. Separate your feelings from their opinions.
This is a hard one because it requires that we look at our relationships as a whole and our emotional states. You may fear that if someone disagrees with you, then they don’t like you, or that if they don’t believe what you believe, then they aren’t supportive of you.
These assumptions are not always true! The people who love us will still love us even if their opinions differ from ours. Separating your feelings from their opinions can help remind you that there is no need to fear your loved ones not “getting” you.
3. Understand why they think the way they do.
This requires an open mind and a lot of patience! If you want someone to see things from your perspective, then it helps if you understand how they ended up with their opinions in the first place. Try to see the world through their eyes and consider what experiences brought them this way.
These are the people you love, so it’s important to understand why they think about things in a certain way. Not only will this help you change how you communicate with each other, but also it might bring you closer together.
4. Ask them what makes them think that way.
When someone has an opinion different from your own, it’s natural to want to change their mind. However, the best way to get someone to share your opinion is by asking questions instead of making statements.
This helps you understand where they are coming from. You don’t necessarily have to do what they say, but understanding where their opinions come from will help you understand the next three points.
5. Make it clear that you value them as a person first and foremost.
One of the biggest issues with changing other people’s opinions is that it often comes across as needy or clingy. You may fear that you won’t be loved unless your significant other or friend shares your exact opinions.
This isn’t true! No one should feel the need to change their opinion, and no one should feel like they can only get love if someone agrees with the 100% of the time. Making it clear that you value them as a person first and foremost will help you feel better about your relationships and make it easier to see their opinions for what they are.
6. Let them know that it’s not personal if you disagree with them.
This is important because we don’t always share the same beliefs even though we love our friends and family. Maybe you are more conservative while they are liberal or vice versa.
This can be hard because it seems like life revolves around opinions! However, understanding that it’s not necessarily personal if you disagree with your loved ones will help to keep things in perspective.
7. Stop assuming that they think the same way as everyone else.
This is a good one because it prevents you from making false assumptions! If your friend or significant other seems to have the same opinions as everyone else, then this might lead you to assume that they share the same views on other topics.
Please don’t make assumptions about what they think without asking. You might get surprised!
8. Recognize that you are entitled to your opinions, but so are they.
No one likes being told what to believe or think, so it can be important to remember that others are entitled to their views too. They have the right not only to agree with their own opinions but also to disagree with yours.
It’s important to remember that you have a right to your opinion, but so do they! This can be a good reminder that if their opinion differs from yours, then the same rules don’t apply in this case. They are allowed to think differently than you do, and vice versa.
9. Understand that when you try to change their opinion, it’s because you want them to think the same as you.
Remember that when you try to change someone else’s opinion, it means that on some level, you are afraid they won’t love you unless they agree with your opinions. This is not a good reason for changing their mind.
10. Recognize that you are not entitled to their opinion.
If you have a friend or significant other who thinks differently than you, it’s important to recognize that this does not mean they cannot be your friend. You are still entitled to your opinions, even if theirs differ from your own.
11. Stop trying to change them.
If you acknowledge that you are not entitled to their opinion, then the only option left is for you to stop trying to change them. Using coercion or manipulation will only make them feel insecure about their opinions and might cause problems in your relationship!
12. Let go of any jealousy toward those who agree with them.
It can be hard to understand why your friend or significant other shares the same opinion as everyone else. One reason is that they might have been influenced by others or agree with popular opinions because it’s easier than thinking independently.
This can be a tough one to deal with, but let go of any jealousy toward those who share the same opinion will help you to keep things in perspective.
13. Recognize that they might not feel comfortable disagreeing with their loved ones.
It can be natural for us to expect our friends and family to agree with us, but it’s important to remember that this isn’t something everyone is capable of doing. Some people are afraid to disagree with their loved ones or are more comfortable keeping disagreements private rather than voicing them out loud.
It’s important to remember that some people are more likely to agree with others, even if they disagree inside! This can be a hard thing to deal with at times, but it’s worth remembering that not everyone is capable of disagreeing with their loved ones.
14. Let them know that you respect their opinion, even if it’s different than yours.
It might be difficult to understand why someone else can have a differing opinion than your own, but this doesn’t mean that you should judge them. If they feel comfortable enough sharing this with you, then let them know that no matter what their opinion is, you respect it.
It can be difficult to understand why someone else can have a differing opinion than your own, but respecting their right to disagree will go a long way! If they feel comfortable enough sharing this with you, then let them know that no matter what their opinion is, you respect it.
15. Recognize that the opposite of love does not hate but apathy.
Accepting other people’s opinions does not mean that you have to stop having strong feelings about things! It just means being secure enough to understand that these opinions are different from your own and continuing to love the person anyway.
16. Recognize that free speech is important to a healthy society, including unpopular opinions.
Suppose you feel like you’re not allowed to share your opinions because they are unpopular, know that no one else has the right to tell you what you can or cannot think! This is why freedom of speech is important to a healthy society, even when it includes unpopular opinions.
17. Recognize that your opinion might not be popular for a reason.
Sometimes, other people don’t share their opinion because they are looking at things from a different perspective than you or have experienced something different in their lives. Take a moment to consider this possibility the next time you feel like you’re alone in your opinions.
18. Look deeper into why you want them to share your opinion, and let go of any expectations around it.
It might be easy to fall into patterns of thinking that if someone else shared your opinion, then they would “get” you or your argument. This is a risky way to think and can cause you to hold negative opinions about people who disagree with you!
Instead, take some time to ask yourself why you want someone else to agree with your opinion, and let go of any expectations around it. You will feel much better if you stop trying to change other people’s opinions.
19. Ask yourself why you are so passionate about your opinion.
Often our passion for having an opinion comes from wanting to feel understood or proving that we’re right in some way. Ask yourself if this is what you want, and try to find a way to get it without needing someone to share your opinions.
Sometimes our passion for having an opinion comes from wanting to feel understood or proving that we’re right in some way. Ask yourself if this is what you want, and try to find a way to get it without needing someone else to share your opinions.
20. Let go of the idea that you need to be right for someone to care about your opinion.
No matter what you believe, there is always a chance that you could be wrong! If someone doesn’t share your opinion, it might not mean that they disagree with you completely. This means that the only way to know for sure is if they tell you directly or do your research.
Letting go of the idea that you need to be right for someone to care about your opinion is a small but important step in having healthy relationships with others.
Conclusion
Here are 20 things you can do to stop trying to change other people’s minds. If someone disagrees with your opinion, don’t try and convert them. When you’re not busy trying so hard, it will be easier for the person on the other side of a debate or argument to hear what you have to say. You also won’t feel as frustrated when they keep disagreeing with you! Remember that everyone has their own beliefs and opinions about different topics – there’s no need for anyone else’s thoughts but yours! So why bother debating? Accept disagreement without feeling threatened because at least then both parties get something out of the conversation.